Riding the Struggle Bus

Not gonna lie…I’m struggling tonight. I started yesterday with the best of intentions. No weed, nothing else destructive.

It went sideways about 3:05pm. I couldn’t stand it anymore and reached for the weed…just in time to attend my first Marjuana Anonymous meeting.

I sat here for an hour berating myself while in the meeting…all these people were there that have been clean for however long and I felt like I didn’t belong because for me it had been mere minutes since I’d used before the meeting. Nevertheless, I stayed. It might be a bit religious for me, but I’m going to go to the same group again next week and see how that goes.

Since going to bed (very early) I’ve been awake 5 times. Each time, I’ve vaped until I was high out of my mind. It feels so good, even though I know it is really so bad.